Preventative Maintenance Reduces Risk Of Failure

Happy couple walking along a beautiful sandy beach in summer clothes spending time together is good prevenative maintenance
 

We all hate it when our vehicle breaks down. One minute we are driving, next, we are parked with the hood up standing there scratching our heads. Or, our furnace has been making weird noises, but instead of tending to it, we simply shut the door to block the noise. Preventative maintenance is what we should be doing, but instead, most simply keep trying to get one more day out of something.

The purpose of preventative maintenance is to look for problems before they occur. This is the whole reason companies who have fleet vehicles have mechanics who do routine maintenance. It’s the same reason we replace the shingles on our roofs; the same reason that we take our cars for tire rotations and oil changes and change drive belts. It’s not that these parts are completely done for, but rather, we are changing them in anticipation of a failure.

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The difference is, when we schedule it before it breaks, we can save money and we can avoid being stuck at the side of the road. Often, when something finally breaks, it usually breaks things attached to it too. When a rotating drive belt breaks, it comes flying apart with great velocity, and can break more delicate plastic parts around it. When your shingles wear out and allow water past, the wood structure starts rotting and your floor gets wet. However, this isn’t limited to just physical items, but also, our relationships.

12 Weeks in Colorado12 Weeks in Colorado is a fun to read Christian fiction novel about a group of friends and overcoming real life issues.

 

Preventative maintenance in relationships

Our relationships with others need maintenance too. We have working parts that wear down over time and if they aren’t tended too often enough, they can experience a breakdown. This is true for our physical bodies, but also, for our emotional health too.

If you constantly neglect your spouse, breakdown is imminent. It’s just a matter of time before they have a blowout. This can result in them giving you a verbal beating, or it could result in them packing up and heading out the door. People, like mechanical equipment, can only take so much abuse before something breaks.

Knowing your spouse’s love language is a huge help in preventative maintenance. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages – The Secret to Love that Lasts, spells out the 5 love languages and how to show love in a way to your spouse in their love language. It is a great read.

If we are wise, we plan ahead with anticipation, and we give attention to areas of potential failure. This is good, because if we let our relationship get to the point of breakdown, it usually causes carnage at the same time for anything attached to it.

For example, if a husband and wife fight day after day without tending to the root cause, it can often escalate to divorce. This is complete breakdown, or failure of a relationship. Suppose there are kids involved; they are the surrounding carnage of the failure. Now, instead of a whole, happy home, the couple is split, and the children must learn to deal with their new reality.

Preventative maintenance here would be a counsellor or a marriage course. Broken relationships can often be overcome with some preventative measures applied, which would not only be relatively simple, but the overall cost would be far less too. I highly recommend Mort Fortel, he has awesome resources both free and paid for improving your marriage (note, the link will open in a new tab so you won’t lose your place)
7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage, with Mort Fertel.

 

Applying preventative maintenance in a relationship

Happy couple playing together on a yellow background in their swimwear, ready for the beach.
 

To avoid failure in any relationship, we need to be attentive to each other. We need to be aware of the overall condition of the relationship. Communication is necessary to accomplish this. You say, “I say hello to my wife and give her a kiss everyday when I get home from work”. That’s great, except then you are off to the television, and the next conversation or intimacy you have is the next day after work when you greet her with a “hello” and a kiss.

I don’t mean to be harsh here, but this is relatively common. We think all is well because nobody is fighting, and nothing is flying around the house, but deep down, the wife might be falling apart. She might not want to say something in hopes that it will one day work out. But when it doesn’t, eventually, she has a breakdown and leaves.

Instead, coming home and greeting your wife with a “hello” and a kiss, and then grabbing a seat beside her and giving her 20-30 minutes of your time each day would result in a completely different outcome. She, and yourself, would have that half-hour to talk about whatever is on your minds from the day. This simple communication can release tension, as well as, allow us to become aware of the condition of our partner.

Another method I recommend; marriage seminars and marriage counselling. When the going is good, educate yourselves. Go to a marriage retreat together and have fun while you learn some new techniques to apply at home. Having fun together is an important aspect in a healthy relationship. Find something you both find enjoyable and play, laugh, enjoy spending time together. This is a good way to be and stay irresistible to one another in your relationship. Oh, and marriage counselors don’t always have to repair; they help prevent failures too. They can often give great advice for building a healthy relationship, before things go bad.

Preventative maintenance with children

We have relationships with our kids too. I know, our teens have become adults in their minds and want nothing to do with us, right? While this might be true for some, there is still a relationship. Trying to understand what your child is going through is the first step to preventative maintenance with them.

Next, is showing them support. You might not like what they are doing but show them that you still care about who they are. This is very important for children of all ages. They won’t often tell us their true feelings until they finally have enough of whatever weighs them down, and they explode on the parent saying, “you don’t understand; you don’t care; you only care about yourself…”

The simple, consistent attempt to be there for them can show them that you do in fact care. They likely won’t want to become your best friend and offer you to come sit down and read their diary with them, but when there is a breakdown in their life, at school, in a relationship, they are likely to remember that you are there for them. I realize parenting is tough, and we don’t have a perfect world, or perfect conditions, but making ourselves available to them as often as possible makes the difference.

Even if your child doesn’t build a fortress around themselves, we can practice preventative maintenance by maintaining open communication with them. Be involved. Ask lots of questions, without prying. Get excited with them. We parents might not be cool anymore (wait, is the word cool even cool anymore?), but we can be available to listen and let our kids unwind, or vent, when necessary.

Conclusion

As we can see, preventative maintenance is necessary in all areas. We can apply it to our stuff, to our jobs (work harder, learn new material, etc.), and to our relationships. Preventative maintenance is often just a small time-commitment, not a large cost. If you have even a trace of imminent failure in your life, look for ways to start tending to it sooner than later. You will be happier enjoying good results from your effort, rather than reaping the consequences of chance.

Take care!

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Happy couple playing together on a yellow background in their swimwear, ready for the beach.

Recommended:
How to get your spouse to hear you, by Mort Fertel.

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  My wife Tara and I believe in the power of prayer. God restored our marriage through many hardships and difficult times, especially in through early years. We pray for our readers each night. If you would like us to pray for you, your family or your marriage, click here to leave a prayer request. We'd be glad to pray for you.  
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7 thoughts on “Preventative Maintenance Reduces Risk Of Failure”

  1. You are so right it’s all about being sensitive to what’s going on around us and picking up on the little things before and attending to them (preventive maintenance) before they grow into bigger problems.

    Reply
  2. Very good points brought up in this article.
    I totally agree with you about preventative care in relationships – of all kinds.
    The one thing I personally think is of utmost importance is not to take your relationships for granted – Do not become “familiar” with the people you interact on a daily even hourly basis.
    Being aware of this makes you more appreciative and respectful of others, and this attitude invites that same attitude back.
    Being in the attitude of gratitude in the present moment enables you to be just that!
    With gratitude – Orion

    Reply
  3. Great article. Yes preventive maintenance is required for our vehicles and our relationships. This last fact gets overlooked. Communication is key! One important fact, for a succcessful relationship, you have to work on it! There is no such thing as a perfect couple. No one is perfect, therefore even the best of relationships have some flaws. That is why we must work on them all the time.

    Reply
  4. Shawn,
    The purpose of preventative maintenance is to look for problems before they occur. That is a great explanation of preventative maintenance. You said, “To avoid failure in any relationship, we need to be attentive to each other.” This is so important to keep a relationship healthy and thriving. Great advice I enjoyed your thought-provoking post.
    Lisa

    Reply
  5. HI Shawn,
    Thanks for the prompting that I need to pay more attention to doing preventative maintenance on different areas of my life. I did know about doing this on my car and my furnace, but I did not know about doing this on my relationships. What a great idea. I really like the idea to do this with our children as well. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

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