Okay, let’s not get our minds in the gutter. This article isn’t about intimate situations with your lady, but rather, bringing joy to her in other ways that makes her appreciate you and enjoy the relationship more.
Relationships aren’t just about intimacy. In fact, after just a few short years, the honeymoon wears off, and so does the attraction. Of course, this is just a generalization, but, sadly, this happens to more relationships then less.
So, if a relationship isn’t about intimacy and romance, then what is it about?
Well, in reality, it is better described as; sweat pants and messy hair while wearing no make-up, screaming kids, long days at work followed by a busy and hectic house life afterwards, too many bills leading to quarrels, and a lack of intimacy due to just being flat out tired.
Related: 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage.
If this doesn’t describe your family, count your blessings. However, you likely do know a couple who this describes.
If what I have just described is true, it is easy to imagine how several relationships and marriages fall apart under pressure within the first several years. What’s more unfortunate, is that this happens because couples don’t seek out the help they need when they notice a storm brewing, nor do they both adequately pitch in to help make the situation easier for the other.
And, what is more frustrating is seeing relationships fall apart when they could have been repaired. In some instances, it can be difficult to imagine a broken relationship ever having a second chance, but, this really comes down to the couple, their pride, and their willingness to forgive and try again.
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When we please our partner, the relationship flourishes
I don’t recommend allowing your relationship to go downhill and get to the point of no return, so I will give a few points here of what us men can do at anytime that will please her and make her feel important.
Ultimately, this can apply to either in the relationship, and both should be paying attention to the health of that relationship while doing what they can to help build it and make it stronger.
Here are 5 things I do to please my wife and improve our relationship
- Help with chores
- Help with kids
- Do the cooking
- Show her love and respect
- Learn what is important to her
1. I help my wife with the household chores
There was a time when the men would head off to work and it was expected that the wife would stick around the house and get everything done. This kind of thinking doesn’t fly these days. Yet, there are still many relationships and households where these tasks kind of just get pushed onto her.
But, why? Is it because deep down we know she really wants to do everything, because her great, great, great grandma did? Not likely.
Or, maybe, we let her take on these tasks all by her self to make her feel like she is limitless and super-productive. Probably not.
But, whatever the reason, it does happen, and what it causes over all, is a worn-down, tired-out mate.
Instead of leaving it all for her to do, try taking up the slack where you can. I have found that when I help out with the chores of any sort, it frees her up to catch up on other things that are important to her. It gives her a chance to recharge and catch her breath. It also makes her feel that we share an equal load in the house that we live in together.
2. I help with the kids when and where I can
When the kids are older, most of them become more self-sufficient and content to have as little parent-to-teen exposure as possible. But, when the kids are still little, they require much attention of mom.
Just because mom’s have a tight bond with baby doesn’t mean they don’t need a break. Even an hour to go have a bath alone or a nap can do wonders for her. And hey, toddlers, and even older kids like to go to the park; it doesn’t often matter which parent takes them either. This is another easy way to take them off mom’s hands for a bit.
3. Cooking for her will please her
Even if you can’t cook all that well, this will certainly earn you brownie points. This is an easy one for me as I love to cook, but most other men I know claim that cooking isn’t their strong point.
Just because we aren’t naturally good at something doesn’t mean we can’t learn.
If you are in a position where you get home from work early enough to get into the kitchen first, then try to do so a few times per week. Trust me, she will be happy with even simple meals.
Related: What is the Meaning of Love
Everyone thinks women like spa days and jewelry and new clothes. Well, you’re not off the hook, because they do; but, they like food too.
We can’t buy expensive items everyday, but we can do a simple deed like cooking for the family, and I have found this to be just as valuable.
4. I try to show her love and respect
Women need hugs and kisses. But, they also need support. And communication.
It is very important that we give them these things as it helps build good and strong relationships. It shows them that we aren’t above them and that we care about their well-being. Our mate is supposed to be our best friend; the one whom we’d choose and side with over anyone else.
So, it is necessary to make them feel this way as often as possible. Our relationships shouldn’t be a closed book. Open communication each day or evening is healthy in that it gives us a chance to let the other know how we are doing and vice versa.
We can be respectful of their authority too. If they set a rule for the children, it is important to back her up on it. If you don’t agree with the rule, that’s where open conversation comes in. Later, when in private, you can discuss it together.
Parents need to be on the same page, especially in front of the children.
5. I try to learn and remember what is important to her
Important dates such as her birthday and your anniversary dates are obvious things that will be important to her. If you don’t believe me, just forget one of these dates and she will remind you, in a hurry.
But, there are more things than just special dates. If we are listening to her, we will hear things about what she likes, where she would like to go, her dreams, her hopes, what makes her laugh, what her fears are, her favorite foods, and of course, what arouses her.
A relationship is an ongoing learning experience. We can’t simply wow her, marry her, and then go on cruise-control. Instead, each day is another opportunity to hang out with her, chat with her, and make future plans together.
In time, we can start to pick up on what is important to her, and this makes it easier to please her with surprises throughout the week, when it is most important and unexpected; when she is tired out and drained. We can’t just wait until the special occasions to make her feel special. We should enjoy doing this and every day is an opportunity to do so.
And, to add to this, men, if the “spark” seems dead, consider this; if we learn these simple non-intimate ways to please her, intimacy will become more likely as a result of our efforts.
We go into our marriages and relationships with good intentions and excitement, but often lose steam. What we must understand is that we each have the ability to learn who our partner is, what they like, and then apply this basic knowledge as often as possible.
When we know how to please our spouse, and do so, it elevates them to a different level. They become inspired by our enthusiasm and attention, and this strengthens the relationship. This is because they will inevitably do it back, which causes a healthy two-way relationship. One not built on selfishness, but on love and respect. The kind that lasts.
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How to get your spouse to hear you, by Mort Fertel.