If there is anything that is near and dear to God’s heart, it’s a loving relationship. We know that God is a God of love and this is the main thing we are called to do. Not just in relationships, but everywhere and with everyone. This sounds simple, but for some reason there are many, many relationships that start and then come crashing down. Let’s discuss this in this article.
My wife and I have been married for more than twenty years now. We are a Christian couple with many bumps and bruises from all the hard lessons we learned along the way. What we can say is that even though we didn’t do things God’s way all along, God never abandoned us.
In fact, our relationship should’ve crumbled many times, but God kept us together, even if only by a thread at times, and has now restored us. We are a stronger couple now who have learned to work together. My hope is that I can help shed some light on the kind of relationship that God wants all couples to have; the kind that is successful and fruitful and abundant and rewarding.
Now, I realize that I’m making it sound like the relationship will be financially profitable, but not on purpose. Yes, finances are a big part of a relationship, and I will surely talk about them in this article briefly. However, I am saying that a relationship that pleases God will parallel the feeling of wealth and riches. This kind of relationship will offer many blessings to each partner and will yield feelings of joy and peace and fun and adventure while having a deep-rooted faith that God will keep making it better and better.
You have to try to know for sure. I can only tell you what we are experiencing. We aren’t a perfect couple yet. But we are improving each day. As we seek to please God more in our relationship, our relationship is becoming more purposeful and rewarding.
6 habits God is calling every couple to practice
In this article, I want to talk about some practices, or habits, that a couple can employ so that they too can experience a healthy and growing relationship. When we do things God’s way, we prosper in that thing. To prosper, basically means to increase or to gain. Any increase or gain we can see in our relationship is a good thing.
This is an important topic because our society is flooded with people who have tried to have relationships of some sort that soon came to an end. This hurts people. I don’t want to see couples and families split, and even more so, neither does God.
But we must be willing to bring our problems to Him. When we have a problem with our car, we take it to a professional mechanic; when we have a problem with our water lines, we call on a professional plumber; and, when we have a problem in our relationship, who should we call on? The Lord God, the one who created the people and who stands behind right relationships – the One who has the power and knowledge to fix the issue.
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7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage, with Mort Fertel. Mort is a Christian man, who has one of the highest success rates in helping couples to fix and restore their broken marriages.
Let’s look at 6 habits that you can work on as a couple as you build a relationship that is pleasing to God. These are:
- Be together as one with God
- Be prayer warriors
- Be an obedient couple before God
- Practice loyalty with each other
- Be the leaders God is calling you to be
- Use wisdom in finances
1. Be together as one with God
“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’”
God never intended us to do this life alone. God created us to have a companion. He wants the world to be filled with husbands and wives who are living in fruitful and healthy relationships.
When we try to walk alone, apart from God, we are susceptible to the attacks of the enemy. The devil is constantly nipping at our heals. If Satan can take a person down, then perfect; if he can take a couple down at once, “Then even better,” he says.
We don’t enter into our relationships thinking that it will only be for a few months or a few years. No, instead, we have high expectations and intentions for that relationship. So, what happens for so many? Again, trying to manage the relationship alone in a spiritual world without spiritual protection. For that couple, they are literally sitting ducks before the enemy.
The first thing a couple needs to practice to get their relationship on the right track with God is their commitment to each other and their commitment to God. That couple must come together in agreement that they want to build their relationship according to God’s standard, then they must come together before God and invite Him into their relationship.“He wants the world to be filled with husbands and wives who are living in fruitful and healthy relationships.” Click To Tweet
2. Be prayer warriors
There is a saying I’ve heard before, author unknown; “The couple who prays together, stays together.”
There is truth to this saying. Of course, if you haven’t been walking with God all along, how can you know this to be true, right? Well, just like when we don’t know something, we find someone who has been doing it and we trust that the information they give is accurate.
I am here to tell you that a praying couple is a couple that God can work with. For that couple, there is very little that stands against them; Satan included.
Prayer is the direct avenue to God the Father. But if we don’t take time to call on Him, He won’t just force His way into our lives. Jesus stands at our door and knocks. Sometimes we allow our lives to get too cluttered and noisy and we don’t hear the knocking; but He’s there.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
As a couple, we must bring all our thoughts and concerns about the relationship before God. We can’t hold back. If there is anything troubling, tell God; if there is anything you don’t know, ask God. We get direction and clarity from God when we surrender to Him and ask.
Literal, daily praying, together in unity as one, is how the couple will build a lasting healthy relationship. Daily is the key word here. And, not only praying for the relationship itself, but also for any children you may have, your household finances, health concerns, and especially, personal spiritual condition.
God is faithful to help us with these things if we are faithful to bring them to Him and trust Him to do His work in us.
3. Be an obedient couple before God
Praying to God and getting Jesus in the center of the relationship is the first line of defense for a strong relationship. Next, our obedience to God is what allows for God’s supernatural providence to take place. God cares for all His Creation, even when we don’t walk with Him in obedience. But for those who do obey Him, for them, He gives more attention and focus.
When we walk with God in obedience as a couple, we take every step with Him in unity according to His direction for us. As we pray daily, we begin to hear and understand God’s voice. At this time, the couple then starts becoming aware of the supernatural direction God is leading them into. This may or may not be into a Christian ministry of evangelism. It might simply be to maintain their current jobs and positions in the community while expressing an outstanding example as a Christian couple.
Part of the issue with this generation and the next is that we are starving for good relationship examples. Media today is desensitizing us to marriage and is having the masses believe that relationships are hollow and not a binding agreement.
But, before God, the relationship is to be a marriage, a union as one, and is to be a binding contract. Many might not agree that marriage is important today, but if you want God’s blessing and help, then understand that according to God, marriage and obedience is important today.
“If you will only obey me,
you will have plenty to eat.”
Here, God isn’t talking just about food. Of course, He is, but also, about overall provision of needs. God is a God of abundance and multiplication. When God pours out blessings on people, it’s not just enough; it’s always above and beyond. He does this, not only to bless us, but so that we can bless others through His generosity.
The same is for our relationships; He heals our relationships and He blesses them, more than we might expect. He puts us in a position where we can use the trials and victories of our relationships to help others who are without hope and struggling. But we must be obedient to what He is asking of us. If we choose to go back to walking in our own way, apart from God, squander away the blessing, keep it to ourselves, we risk losing the blessing.
God is a God of love, but He is also a God of law and righteousness. He is not slow to discipline those who are disobedient to Him.
Have you seen the movies by the Kendrick Brothers? Courageous / Facing the Giants / Fireproof / Flywheel / War Room these movies inspire your faith and build up your family, your marriage and your life. Facing the Giants has so inspired my wife and I to walk in faith and “prepare our fields for rain”. If you haven’t seen them yet, I highly recommend that you check them out.
4. Practice loyalty with each other
God is also a God who hates division and disloyalty. He won’t tolerate disloyalty in our relationship with Him. He also won’t tolerate disloyalty in our relationships. God is a God of justice and can’t stand by and watch something that is wrong. In His perfect timing, all will be found out. We can keep secrets from our partners, but not from God.
God is omnipresent. This means He is everywhere, always. There is not one single thing we can get past him. Nothing ever occurred to God. He just knows.
If a couple has experienced an act of unfaithfulness in the relationship, there is still hope if the unfaithfulness has been terminated. Apart from God, it’s still possible, but will be very difficult. With God, it’s more possible, but will still be difficult and will take time.
God is the only one who can give us the inner peace to deal with loss and disloyalty. If we go to Him in our greatest time of sorrow, He can help. But we must go to Him and give our problems to Him, completely.
If there hasn’t been any unfaithfulness in the relationship, but flirting and some looseness around the opposite sex, we are wise to listen to God here. God is surely calling to us when we are about to embark on something harmful, and He is providing an exit away from all temptation. If we are willing to walk with God, He will strengthen us and help us stay on His path.
It’s when we start to slip away from Him and get off His path that leads to abundant life that we get ourselves in trouble. If you are noticing any temptations or dangerous activity in the relationship, it’s far easier to deal with it while it’s just a temptation then it is after it’s sin.
If we break trust in the relationship, that relationship will have a long road of repair. It can be repaired, but God is wise and will help us avoid these situations if we follow Him.
5. Be the leaders God is calling you to be
If you have children, you are a leader. Like it or not, they are watching, and they are learning. If you don’t have children, you and your partner are still leaders; to each other. Both are equal in the relationship and both are called by God to practice good morals and have high standards. Both are expected to live up to those standards.
Husbands and wives both bring a substantial quality to the relationship. Both were created with purpose and both were created with various skills and abilities. It’s not that the man was made for work and the woman was made for cooking. We are all made to have strengths and we all have our weaknesses, too.
As a man, I do the majority of the cooking here. Not because my wife can’t cook; because I enjoy cooking. My wife is guilty of working too much whereas I like to enjoy my time and have fun. My wife is the responsible steward of money in our house and I’m the spender (well, I was but God is surely changing me).
In our relationship, we are equal. Both of us are responsible for both our children; both of us are responsible for our home and vehicles and bills; and, both of us are responsible for providing each other with all of our personal needs, including intimacy. There is not one thing that is her job or one thing that is his job. We are in this together.
“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.”
When we learn how God expects us to live and our marriage to be, we quickly become separated from the way others are living. It’s not that we are better, as we are all God’s children and creation, and He has no favorites; instead, it’s that we are following the way that God is setting before us and because of this, we are walking in less negative consequence then those who are trying to make all the decisions themselves.
A good leader is one who looks for the most efficient way to do a job, who understands the rules, then teaches others how to do the same. Good leaders lead by example and build others up. Good leaders don’t struggle with pride and see others as less then them. Good leaders are never finished learning.
A husband and wife who is working together is a great leader and example for others. When paired with God, they become a great force.
6. Use wisdom in finances
Finally, in addition to living for God, we must also lift up our finances to God in trust. God is the Most-Wise. Who else would we want as our provider?
When we include God in our finances, He can make things happen that we can’t on our own. God has worked many miracles for us and has kept us afloat through all the years. I personally have made some stupid choices regarding financing and debt. But even so, God has kept food on our table and has been faithful to provide for all our house and vehicle payments over the years.
We are faithful Tither’s. Many say that tithing is Old Testament stuff and that we aren’t called to tithe anymore. But, if we study the New Testament, we will see that God is still a generous God who helps and provides for us. He doesn’t have to be. I mean, what does He owe us? He is a God of grace, we were made in His likeness, and we too should extend His grace and provision through us to others.
My wife and I tithe to God because we believe that God is our provider. We give the first ten percent of any income to God and we have for twenty years. I was a bit lazy with this myself as I would get paychecks deposited and just expect my wife to tithe for us. By doing this, I wasn’t involved with the process like I should’ve been. However, now, I try to be involved and we pray about tithing and giving.
We also tithe because we feel that it’s right.
“But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something (parenthesis added by me: also, could say “do something”), you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.”
“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.”
So, for my wife and I, we feel that to tithe is to be obedient to God. If we stopped now, we would feel like we are breaking His law. If these two scriptures above are true, then we would in fact, be walking in sin because we are going against what we believe to be true unto God.
I don’t know how you feel about tithing, but I do know that all of us want to have stable finances and not be under tremendous pressure. Finances are a massive reason for divorce and separation today. When we live in lack, we live with the added pressure of worry and stress. But even in lack, when we give ourselves and our finances to God, He removes the worry and stress and gives us peace and contentment.
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This article stretched a bit longer than intended today, but I feel that there are just too many struggling couples out there who are trying to get by and figure it all out in the wrong way. We all have good intentions, but we don’t all share in God’s Wisdom. If we aren’t dedicating our relationships, and all that is contained there within, to God, how can we expect His supernatural providence for our relationship?
Take some time and put some thought into this. How is your relationship? How is your personal life? Are you where you want to be? Do you think that it’s time to put God first and make Jesus the cornerstone in your relationship and life?
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, you can follow this link (Prayer for Salvation) to find out how. Also, if you need prayer for your life or your family, feel free to fill out a private prayer request in the provided prayer box in this article. My wife and I would love to pray for you.